Luck Is No Lady

Before I even had a chance to pee on a stick, my period arrived late on Saturday. To say I was surprised is a huge understatement. First of all, I just don’t get periods without direct medical intervention – usually by the name of Provera. And second, I was ready for it to possibly appear this week, but it never occurred to me that it might come before then.

I wouldn’t have said it out loud, but the optimist in me (there is a small one…somewhere) was really, honestly hopeful that it would work this month. That I would be able to say that the process was, all things considered, relatively easy. That once we got the Clomid dosage thing down I was, as it turns out, actually a fertile myrtle within the infertile set. And that part of me cried on Saturday night over the loss of that hope.

But the realist in me is calling the shots, and I am, on the whole, okay with it. It would have been wonderful and truly lucky if it had worked this first month of actual, “game-on” trying. But even people without fertility problems usually need to try a few times before it works. Luck was not on my side this month, but there’s always next month – it’s out there, looming and hopeful. And without the added step of Provera to induce a period, I move right to Round 2 (new Clomid cycle – still 100 mg, days 5-9 since it worked) starting Wednesday. What’s more, the fact that I got a period on my own means that I did, in fact, ovulate – possibly for the first time in my life. Which is a feat I honestly was not sure my body was capable of. And I’m so, so proud. And encouraged.

By coming on Saturday, my period saved me the $15 I would have wasted if I’d taken that ept test that was all queued up and ready to go Sunday morning (incidentally, can someone please tell me why they are so expensive yet so inadequate? We’ve sent people to the moon – supposedly – but cannot come up with a home pregnancy test that doesn’t require you to wait until a missed period, when you pretty much can figure it out anyway?). It would have been another indignity in a long list.

-J.