Is There Life Beyond Babies?

Let's review history for a moment. What started the women's movement? Women everywhere were at home, caring for their children, husbands and homes, just as their mothers and grandmothers had done before. But that generation of women gave voice to the thoughts their mothers wouldn't allow: Is that all there is?

I don't know what's happened over the past few years, but if you pick up any women's magazine, you might find yourself checking the date (1958 or 2008?). Anyone know if Jessica Alba is starring in a new movie, working on a new project, launching a new perfume, perhaps? I can't tell you anything about what she's doing as an entertainer, because all of that is drowned out in favor of hearing about how much she loves her new, huge belly, her growing feet, her "fashion challenges" due to her new, extremely pregnant state. Did she mention that she's pregnant?

And it doesn't stop there. We read all about bump watches (it's two inches bigger than it was last week!), buns in the oven. We hear about breastfeeding, middle-of-the-night changes. Blow-by-blow labor & delivery stories.

I was at a professional communicators networking event last week -- one of the last baby-free zones, I thought, safe from the pregnancy- and baby-laden rest of the world. I thought it would be kind of an even playing field -- all of us professionals there to talk about our careers, not kids that we may or may not have. I was so, so wrong. One mention of someone's kids and they were off. Sleeping habits, the best nursery schools, crazy schedules filled with practices and lessons. One member of the group, perhaps noting my bored, faraway look, asked me directly: "Do you have any kids?" In the past, I would have dropped in a qualifier with the answer, "No -- not yet," to make everyone comfortable. I'm all done with that. "No," I said. Just no. It took everyone a moment to figure out what to say, but they all finally chimed in, "Oh, enjoy your life now." "Everything will change when you have kids."

To get there, these people that I hardly knew had to make two significant leaps: they assumed that I wanted kids but was deliberately waiting, and that fertility was not even a question. Bold assumptions among a group of acquaintances, don't you think? But typical.

How have we become so baby-obsessed? Why is talking or reading about pregnancy and babies suddenly more compelling than movies, books, art, culture, careers? Here's what I find interesting: biographies. The Presidential campaigns. Home improvement shows. Improving my golf swing. How many stretch marks you have? Not so much.

I want a baby, desperately. But it's not all there is. It can't be.

-J.