You're Not Crazy - Everyone IS Pregnant

You'd think that the most popular purveyor of caffeine - Starbucks - would be free from pregnant women. You'd be wrong. Today at Starbucks I saw seven pregnant women. Seven! And last week, as I sat quietly grading papers, a group of three pregnant women sat down next to me, and started complaining about all kinds of things I've never heard of, but which apparently have something to do with pregnancy.

I'm starting to feel like the kid in The Sixth Sense , except instead of seeing "dead people" I see pregnant women. Everywhere.

Just when I thought it was Just Me - that it was like fifth grade when my mother wouldn't let me get clogs and suddenly everyone had them, or when I got engaged and suddenly cute guys were everywhere (especially in the places where there had been none when I was single)- and then I read that there really are pregnant women everywhere.

According to the CDC, the total fertility rate (birth rates for american women between 15 and 44) is the highest it's been since 1971. It's also the first time since 1971 that the birth rate is higher than the "replacement rate" - the rate at which a generation can replace itself.

Still, I can't help being worried that I won't benefit in this Baby Boom. I was never very good at science, but I do remember learning that all populations control themselves (whether it's insect populations dropping because of a cold winter, animal populations dropping because of an increase in predators, or human population falling victim to plague). I worry that maybe the worldwide decrease in sperm counts and the scores of couples I see crowding the waiting room of my IVF center are part of our population starting to control itself.

If Jamie Lynn Spears and Ashlee Simpson and ______ (you can insert names of a hundren unmarried starlets here) can't control themselves, maybe nature will take over and control the population for us.

I don't want to be part of that population control, but as I get my period yet another time, I can't help worrying that maybe I am.

Ironically, I ran out of prenatal vitamins today. I was taking them for the folic acid - and the bottle contained 500 vitamins. That means I've been trying to get pregnant for 500 days - not counting the days I forgot to take my vitamin.

I'm starting to think I should follow Jamie Lynn and her teen mother companions and throw the stupid vitamins out, drink too much and act irresponsibly. That's just about the only thing we haven't tried yet.

- L.