Getting Used To It

You can get used to anything. This is my lesson for this week. If someone had asked me last year if I'd ever be able to give myself a shot, I'd have said NO WAY. I get queasy and lightheaded just thinking about syringes, and I faint every time I get my blood drawn (no donating for me).

But last night, home alone, I gave myself my first shot. My husband had a baseball game, and I didn't really want him to see me grabbing an inch of fat on my stomach and jabbing a needle into it, anyway.

The wierd thing was, I wasn't that nervous. At least, I wasn't until the minute I was supposed to give myself the shot. I'd been watching that PBS series, "Carrier," about life on a Navy aircraft carrier. The chaplain had just given a speech in which he said, "If you think you're biting off more than you can chew, maybe you've underestimated the size of your mouth."

I thought about that, and figured my mouth is pretty enormous, and there's a good chance I can handle giving myself shots.

But then I got the needle ready (I'm using the Gonal-F pen, and frankly, it's not that scary - sort of like an Epi Pen I think) and sort of lost my nerve. I moved from the bathroom to the bedroom in case I needed to lie down right afterward. I didn't - but the hardest part was the two minutes before I injected myself. I must have cleaned the skin six times.

Once I took the plunge, so to speak, and got the needle in (I jabbed way too hard by the way - your skin isn't made of metal - all it takes is a little poke) it didn't hurt at all. In fact, the hardest part was getting the stupid needle off after I injected myself!

While I'm not looking forward to doing it again tonight, I've already learned that minimizing the waiting is a good idea (think, Just Do It) - get the pen ready and just go ahead and stick it in.

I have to admit that I cried after I did it. It just made it all so real - I can't get pregnant. I so really can't get pregnant that I have to give myself shots in the stomach.

The online videos definitely helped, and now I just have to come to grips with handling the blood tests I'll have to have next week. The worst part for me is that they have to be done early in the morning - and my first fainting episode coincided with getting my blood drawn early in the morning (it was a disaster - I keeled over and there was blood everywhere when I came to). I guess I'll just have to convince myself that I can bite off more and keep chewing...

In the mean time, it's ten p.m., which means it's time for shot #2.

- L.